Thursday, April 5, 2012

Week 4: Welcome to my pity party

So how did I do?

I would like nothing more than to tell you I did fantastic, never felt better in my life, I have this whole weight loss thing in the bag now after only a month.  Now, that would not only be a lie but unrealistic.  And here is why.

I did struggle with some old demons this week.  It started off dealing with a problem I am sure most of us have encountered in our life, bonus family members, and birthday parties.  To keep things on the down low I will refer to the stress as the "event".  As we all know dealing with an "event" can be stressful and what do I want to do when stressed?  Eat and drink.  Luckily, I did not open any wine after getting home from the "event", and believe me it would have been at least a two bottle night.  However, I did slip back into bad habits during the week, until I properly dealt with my stressed feelings.  I am not sure if the habits will show up on the scale yet, however I know how they made me feel and react to food, and that is the problem.

I slip back into this bad habit when either I want to commit diet suicide or when I have some underlying stress.  That habit is snacking around on anything and everything.  I have a pretty set schedule of when I eat, to keep this bad habit at bay, including snacks, now my son however is all over the map.  He is the snacking king, as he often does not eat full meals because he cannot sit still for long enough.  So I either leave out his food so he can go back to it later, or he asks for snacks all day long.  Why am I telling you this, well because I will sneak his snacks or am tempted to eat every time he does regardless of my hunger level when stressed.  And that makes me feel like crap, how do I add up a bit of this, and a taste of that, in my food diary.  Well I don't, and then I am not accurate with my food intake which makes the scale and belly bulge slip upward. The issue with not knowing how to record my sneaky snacks is simple, I don't really think I have eaten that much, because overall I haven't, but in reality all those little samples add up and they add up fast on my hips.

Now I know I cannot be the only person in the world who does this.  I know this is an easy bad habit that most mom's can fall into.  I laugh at myself sometimes, because it is kinda like I am the official taste tester, you know to see if the food if okay for human consumption, or to taste for any poison like in the movie, The Princess Bride.  Anyways, this is not a healthy behavior and one that needs to be nipped in the bud before it gets out of control.

By Thursday, after a big argument with my husband, I figured out what I was stressed about and how to get a handle on the snacking before any permanent damage was done.  However, I still had some mental damage to attend to.  And that was to not feel sorry for myself just because am not perfect, just because I slip into old bad habits.  And yes, I, like so many dieters out there, strive for perfection without taking into account the real world and all the temptations and pitfalls daily life throws in your face.

Everyone, (well everyone I know) has weight issues to deal with and traps they frequently fall into, that is just life.  The difference between falling on your face and staying down, and picking yourself back up is rather easy.  Stop throwing yourself a pity party, nobody wants to come but you anyways.  Believe me, I have tried and tried to get my poor husband to all my pity parties, but he just refuses to RSVP.  The longer you stay down the longer it takes to get back to good habits.  Realize you will fall and that is okay.  It is not about how many times you fall but how many times you pick yourself back up, adjust your attitude and move forward.  Nothing good ever comes out of a negative attitude, nothing.  And you make everyone around you miserable, and they then all wish your were fat again and because then at least you were pleasantly plump and where more fun to be around.  The people who love you and have supported you through your weight loss suddenly and unknowingly try to sabotage you, because you are making them so miserable with your loser attitude.

So my challenge to you and myself this week is, get back to a good and healthy attitude on weight loss.  And remember if you fall, who cares, get back up and everything will be okay.  Remember, only One person was born perfect, and it wasn't you.

This was previously published on my wine blog on 1/30/12

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